broken_compassx (broken_compassx) wrote in living_canvas,

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Hi, I'm new...

Hi, my name's Michelle, I'm 15 years old, and have been cutting for about a year now. I also burn myself, along with taking too many pills sometimes. Though I've only been cutting for a year, I used to bruise myself, but at the time, I didn't know it was SI. I guess the summary of me would be that my brother beats me, has sexually abused me, as has my step-dad, my step-mom kicked me out of her house, so now I live with my mom, who isn't too happy about it, because she wants to live with my step-dad by herself (she does know what he did to me; she just picked him over me is all), and I have tried to commit suicide twice now. A few people know I cut, but the only ones who care are my bestfriend, Kathy, and my bf, Matt. They are my favorite people in the world and I would die for them (of course, I would die anyway, but you get the point). I just recently got with my bf; before he was a good friend of Kathy and mine (he still is) and is/was helping us to stop cutting. He doesn't know about my other forms of SI; and I'm scared of him finding out. Anyway, I have tried in the past to stop cutting, but have never stopped, and once when I counted some of my new cuts, they number 176. When I first started cutting, I used razors, but then I moved on to boxcutters, and now I use shaving razors (I split the shaver apart to get to the razor...and the razor is paper thin; I haven't found anything that cuts better than a shaving razor). I cut on my left arm and legs, and ocassionly my stomach; which is why I never where shorts because I swear my legs are more scar than skin...and that's me. Hello there.
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